Well folks, this might be my last column for the newspaper. You see, as I write this column, we are one day away from the Mega Millions draw worth $1.3 billion. I picked up a ticket for the draw, as well as the next Powerball draw even though its jackpot was a paltry $170 million, and I have a good idea of those numbers.
Growing up my mom used to say something about not counting chickens blah, blah, blah but i think those numbers are a lock on winning and i decided to take a leap on my retirement early and write my column early on my plans for what I am going to do with my earnings.
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My wife and I really like it here so we won’t be moving. Instead, I’m looking for land to build my dream home.
To start, I’m going to have to find a good copyright attorney, because I need to know if I’m legally allowed to buy the blueprints for the Millennium Falcon from “Star Wars” and have them built for my house. .
Ever since I can remember, I’ve wanted to live in Han Solo’s spaceship that made the Kessel run in 12 parsecs. Now that I’m (probably) a billionaire, I can finally do it. Of course my wife Jenny says it’s a dumb idea and she doesn’t want to live in a spaceship, but worst case scenario I have the coolest man cave on the planet.
I think Freeport might be a good place for the Falcon. Jenny won’t let me get a pig for our next dog, but if we live near Alaqua I can just volunteer there and hang out with their pigs anytime I want.
With my accommodation taken care of, it’s time to travel. Jenny wants to go to Australia and New Zealand and see the sights there. These countries are beautiful and I’m sure we’ll get there soon enough, but I think a bit bigger for my first trip as a (probably) billionaire. I go to space.
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This will probably upset my mom because she thinks the idea of rich people spending millions of dollars to fly up and spend a few minutes in space before coming back down to Earth is a ridiculous waste of money. I can kind of understand his point, but space travel is expensive and with NASA no longer flying the space shuttle, it’s up to private companies to pick up the slack. And I want to help with this expensive game.
Also, I’m not planning on spending a few minutes in space anyway. I hope to rent a room for a month or two at the International Space Station. With Russia recently announcing they are pulling out of the ISS, I think I can probably get a good deal on their rooms. I will absolutely watch “Star Wars” in space.
Back on Earth and speaking of my parents though, they took care of me when I was a perfect little kid and I would love to take care of them too. They still live in Indiana and Jenny talked about buying a condo in Indianapolis so we could be close.
Sounds good, but I want a house where we can all be together when we’re in town and have room for my brother when he visits and other friends and family.
Growing up in the 70s and 80s, I have always loved the Ewing Southfork mansion from the TV show “Dallas”. It would probably be a little impractical, even for (probably) a billionaire like me, to move the Ewing mansion from Parker, Texas to about 25 miles outside of Dallas, Indiana, so I’ll probably have to stretch the Hand this over to a copyright attorney again and consider purchasing other plans.
Someone reminds me to do it when I come back from space.
Once I have all the dots crossed and I’m dotted and Hoosier Southfork is a reality I just hope the Ricketts family have better luck than the Ewings and we don’t have the shootings, the fires and the adulteries they had on the show. Fun fact, after the world shut down and we locked down in March 2020, the first series Jenny and I binged was 14 seasons, 356 episodes of “Dallas.” It was good, fun trash.
So that’s my (probably) billionaire life. What would your plans be for $1 billion in the next draw since I obviously have this one locked?
Editor’s Note: I didn’t win. My column and I will be back next week.
Dusty Ricketts is the Content Coach for Northwest Florida Daily News. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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This article originally appeared on the Northwest Florida Daily News: Ricketts Column: Maybe you shouldn’t count your chickens before they hatch