I’m not nosy, but my 17 year old younger brother always talks about how funny the guys on his anime group chats are. I was bored, so I begged him to send me an invite.
As someone who spent an uncomfortable time on heated group chats when I was 16, I know how messy, but funny they can be? I had to see.
People of the earth, that boy lied. All these boys do is argue and share hentai links, and now I’m afraid my brother’s humor is broken. Here are the things I noticed during my two days on the group chat.
They don’t text during the day
I learned this the hard way when I joined in the morning and tried to introduce myself. I got the broadcast of a lifetime, and it hurts me, but I decided their silence would help me go unnoticed. They all come in as evil spirits at 11 p.m., because that’s when their midnight data starts working, so they can download anime and fight.
One of the rare occasions when they sent messages during the day. The next answer was 7.
These boys could stay single forever
The first thing I saw upon signing up was a link to Hentai Heaven. I mean, taste won out, but why are they casually sharing porn? Then I read their group information and I was scared for my life.
And they had the guts to wonder why the girls in the group preferred to keep quiet. Look at this:
A girl decided to talk about the fact that she doesn’t like a particular anime, and it happened.
When will the boys who love anime stop doing this nonsense? they’re like “oh! are you a girl who loves anime? name 100 or you are lying. absurd behavior.
They always argue
I don’t control what they do with their midnight data, but you want to use it to argue who “solos” who? But like, only in their head because those situations can’t and never will work. “Solos” is slang for when a character single-handedly defeats an opponent, by the way.
Sir, first of all, what is that name? And look at the time here, the next reply was at 11 o’clock
Then there’s this guy who either watches and doesn’t get it or likes to start the drama.
RELATED: How To Dress Up As An Anime Fan
And this guy who is obviously the clown of the group.
They actually watch older anime and taste… kinda
I had already braced myself for an insane amount of “new anime” conversations. Nothing is wrong with them, they just don’t have enough story arcs for people to compare them to older anime. But there’s this guy who’s always trying to get the band to watch older anime by creating memes like these:
A play should have placed first, but that’s good too.
And then there was this conversation:
To be on this group chat you need to be tough because they will insult you for stupid takes. But this quiet guy deserved it. Why would he be disrespectful Haikyuu?
Exactly my reaction. This conversation was where I mentally checked because this disrespect?
The worst? He hadn’t even watched the anime. It was just running on vibes and inshallah.
Society will never be free of fellow memes
For two days I felt trapped in the “wrong place” with shepeteri Twitter because they use these memes a lot. You can’t scroll without seeing at least 10. Now I live in fear of seeing these things when I close my eyes:
The worst? After this person sent them, the group quieted down. That made me laugh. Things like that build character.
Nigerian parents must be relaxed now because what are these names?
Dear Uvuvwevwevwe onyetenvewve ugwemubwem osas, your mother did not name you Shikamaru. I tapped into my old inner Nigerian because why don’t they use names like pweshyboi001 or GangsterTobs11 anymore? If that’s where we are as a society, I don’t want to be part of it.
Whoever said he had mental problems, he didn’t lie.
They drag other cinematic universes into their problems
When they start one of their many ridiculous arguments about who’s playing who, there’s always this guy ready to yell, “Batman will beat Goku.” From where to where? They haven’t finished defeating all the bad guys in their universe, and this is the hill you want to die on?
I’m an anti-military regime, but this guy was quickly fired, which made me happy.
I considered staying another day, but the next morning I woke up to over 1,000 messages. From a group chat? Please, please, I am an elderly person.
Anyway, now that we’ve all been marked, let’s all learn to mind our own business.
READ ALSO: Why Watching Anime With Nigerians Is Always Hilarious